The weekend

Well, the last post was a bit premature on what all we had going on.... this past weekend was crazy busy... :)

A friend of ours had gifted us a night at a local bed and breakfast, which was nice, but we thought that it might go to waste since there was no way Daniel and I could use it before we left for China and we arent going to be able to go anywhere alone after China for a long, long time.... but I had the idea of using it for a girls night - so Friday, Emma and I left the house shortly after she got home from school and checked into the b&b, after a little bit, we met the boys for pizza and then we went back to the b&b - we got to sleep in a huge bed, play with some little puppies, we ate ice cream straight out of the carton and I let her pick what we watched on tv... and we got waffles for breakfast the next morning.  (I heard the boys watched some Star Wars).... oh, Im so glad we got to take this opportunity - although I know Emma is probably going to handle this huge change better than anyone, but I know its also going to be harder on her than anyone else... she has been the only little girl in our house, the only sister - she has never really had to share that role... she has always been the baby.  And soon that will change - for the first time ever, she will be the big sister.... and I know she is going to be amazing at it.  She is my mama hen and loves to take care of everything and everyone... but it will still be an adjustment, Im sure.  Im so glad I got that one on one time with her -I hope its a happy memory for her for years to come - I know it will be for me.

Saturday morning, the boys left early and headed over to my grandparents house where Daniel is helping my mom redo my grandparents bathroom to make it easier for them.... so Emma and I pretty much had the house to ourselves.... which meant she got to play video games and play with the dogs.... and wow - the weather was gorgeous Saturday.  So while she played, I got to packing.... and I got us all packed for China!  Everything in 2 large suitcases and 2 backpacks.... we will take the bags to get weighed this afternoon - the suitcases have to be 44 pounds each or less.... Im not sure we are going to make it (try fitting 2 weeks worth of stuff for 3 people in 2 suiticases at 44 pounds or less each!) so I might have to do some rearranging and repacking this week... :)

Sunday, we all were at my grandparents house.... and about 4:00, Daniel sliced open one of his fingers with a drywall knife... so off we headed to the emergency room.  I had to leave around 6:30 to meet my mom with the kids at home.... Daniel got home about 8:40 - with 5 stitches.  He said it would take about 8 days to heal (so thankful!) and it was ok this morning... so thankful it wasnt worse.

After all the drama last night, Friday felt a week away already.... so busy, busy weekend.... and busy, busy week!  This is the last full week we will have, so we need to be getting everything done... :)

Prayers appreciated!

I know, I know

I feel like Im cheating you, dear readers, because all I talk about any more is the adoption and the upcoming trip.... but Im sorry, its all I have on my mind lately - night and day, its all I think about....

And speaking of.... its officially less than 2 weeks before we leave.

But really, we do have alot of things going on at our house....
- everyone is enjoying school and doing well
- Wallace had one really bad week behavior wise a few weeks back - awful!! But he was just testing, which is normal for him - BUT! - the teachers actually listened to us, didnt give in, and he got better... so thankful!
- Emma is still on her cheerleading squad and is doing fantastic - she, of course, is a flyer - and is on top of everything.... which makes me so excited.... their first competition is in November
- I only have one more photo thing before we go - Ive had lots of requests, but just didnt feel I could give them the time and attention that they needed or deserved... but Ill have lots to keep me busy when we get home
- still bummed about halloween, but getting over it.... going to let the kids pick out costumes soon
- trying to spend as much one on one time with each kid as possible
- trying to get to the Y and work off as much of this stress weight that Ive gained lately as I can (ugh!)

We have scaled back all commitments and activities to the minimum.... we want to be fully involved with our kids and the adoption as we can right now... thats all thats important..... our lives are about to change in a HUGE way and I am hoping the transition is easy as it can be.

If you get a spare minute and if you wouldnt mind, please say a prayer for willow and her transition and that her heart would be prepared to let us in, the foster family that is having to say goodbye after raising her for a year (so thankful for them), and also, for Gabe, Emma and Wallace who will be staying with family but still in a foreign environment without mom and dad for over 2 weeks - my heart aches for them - weve never been apart that long...

One day closer... :)

2 weeks/1 month

Two weeks from today, we will have everything packed and ready to go... hopefully getting in a fun afternoon with our kids and a nice dinner around the table.... it will probably be  hard to fall asleep and morning will come too early.  We have to be leaving the house around 4 AM to make it to our flight.  Hopefully, I will sleep the 2 hour drive to the airport, but I know once there, I wont sleep any more.... I know I should sleep on the 13+ hour plane ride, but I know I wont.... excitement will win out.

And exactly a month from today, we will be flying back to the US.  I cant believe it - in a month, this whole process of waiting for our daughter to get here will be over, and the life of a family of 6 will begin.  Im betting I sleep alot on the plane home... and even more on the car ride back home.

Exhausted doesnt even begin to describe how my body deals with jetlag.

The adoption is all I can think of - every day, all day.... Im finally letting myself start to believe that all of this is real... :)

3 weeks

3 weeks from this very moment, we will be winging our way to detroit, getting close to land... :)

We have a 2 hour layover in Detroit and then we start the 13-14 hour to China.... which seems like a long time, but the plane to HK was 16 hours, so not quite as long.... plus, I actually really like to fly and being on that big of a plane, you cant feel anything, plus my own personal tv and space - being an introvert, this is pretty good living for me... :)

we will get to China on the afternoon of the 25th and have the whole day to ourselves - its been a LONG, LONG, LONG time since it was just me and Daniel for more than a couple of hours together, so we are looking forward to just being able to focus on each other for a minute.... although Im betting 5 minutes after we are there (probably sooner!), we will be missing our kids. 

We will have a few days in Beijing for the touristy stuff like the Great Wall and Tienamen Square and such and then we fly out on Monday

And Monday is when we meet and get to take Willow with us.  I cant even tell you the feeling.

The rest of the trip is spent going to parks, a little shopping, lots of paperwork and then we fly home.

3 weeks yall!!!

Wednesday

3 weeks from today and everything has to be ready to go.... we fly out early Thursday morning.

Its all starting to sink in, and I go back and forth between wondering if I have enough time to get it all done to thinking it cant come quick enough.... I dont want to lose even another single day of my daughter's life.

So many emotions going through my heart and head right now... and Daniel's too, and thats saying something because normally he is cool as a cucumber...

I know I havent been writing as often lately, but I am holding my cards close to my chest right now.... so afraid that if I even let one little bit show, it will all be taken away from me.... and we are so close.

In other news, some friends are throwing a shower for Willow.... just the thought of it makes me want to burst out in a smile.... someone is actually happy for us.... its such a weird feeling.  I think I should pinch myself sometime just to see if its a dream, but I wouldnt dare b/c Id rather it be a dream than happen, then wake up and realize it wasnt so.

A huge thank you to everyone who has helped us get this far - I feel like my words on a computer screen dont mean much, but I want you to know how grateful we really are.  You are helping give us our daughter.

Ill keep writing until we leave, but I dont see how I am going to blog while in China - I just dont see that opportunity being there, but if so, I will take it.... and Ill be sure and update when we get back... :)

Thanks for hanging in there with us..... 3 more weeks!!!!  I cant stand it!

Thursday

So after the initial shock and disappointment were over, Daniel and I were ok.... its not the plan that we wanted, but its what weve got, and its better than november, I guess.

But there are some drawbacks to going in October.... for one, there is a big trade fair over in China most of October, which means planes and hotels are more expensive... guess its good weve got a month to save up a little bit more before we go.

But the biggest letdown was that we are going to miss most of the halloween festivities that we go to.... I know that seems like not a big deal, but halloween is pretty much bigger than Christmas in our house.... Ive been working on our costumes since March..... March, yall!..... because we always dress up as a family - I even had Willow's costume ready b/c we thought she would be here.  We go to tons of parties and festivals all throughout the month, and the kids always have the best time (us too!)... so we told them the news earlier this week and they were quite disappointed - especially Emma, who said that if she couldnt do the family costume then she didnt want to dress up... poor thing... I finally told both that we would go through my costume boxes on Saturday and see what they could find and I bet we could come up with something fun for them to dress up as.... and we will just drive them around to a few houses and let them trick or treat.... Daniel, I and Willow will just stay in the car - Im pretty sure we are still going to be jetlagged and I think all of this may be a bit overwhelming for Willow as she will just have come home shortly before.

So I guess I have our costumes ready for next year already....

Anyway.... we are taking this month to really get prepped... things we need to do
- pack our bags, including stuff for Willow... and making sure its all under the weight limit
- pack the kids bags as they spend the time away with Daniel's parents
- make sure the dogs and cat are taken care of while we are gone
- get anything we still need to get for the trip
- clean the house... thoroughly.... its so much less stressful when you can come home to a clean house
- stock the pantry and fridge - we dont have the freezer space for a bunch of pre-made meals, but it will be alot easier if we already have everything we need to throw a few easy meals together
- get the girls' room ready
- get as much time (especially one on one time) with the kids as we can
- save up some extra money

Im sure there is a ton of other stuff to do, and hopefully we can get it all done in a month.... we are so super excited... :)

Any questions before we go?

TA

We got TA on Friday with a proposed CA (consulate appointment date) of October 23... we found out this morning that we were accepted for that date.... I didnt want to post anything here until it was for sure and final

And Friday.... I had a big, ol, ugly cry.

Yes, I was happy to get a travel date... but it was a full month later than I wanted to go.

I know looking from the outside in, a month doesnt seem like much time.... but if you put yourself in our shoes - thats another month of a 2 year olds life without parents, without a family... that we dont get to know her.... we will never, ever get that month back.

So yeah, I had it out on Friday afternoon, in Daniel's arms, and I just melted.... probably for a good 30 minutes, and even though I could have gone on and cried all weekend, I realized that I had gotten the disappointment out of the way, now we have to start looking towards October.

I am quite a bit disappointed and heartbroken, honestly still... but I am happy to have a real date.  A month feels like forever, but I know it will get her eventually and all I have to do is focus on getting through today, then tomorrow is one day closer to seeing her.

As it stands now, we will fly out on October 10, get there Oct 11, get Willow on Oct 14, and fly back home on Oct 25.

Thursday

Today is day 14 for our TA wait.... its killing me yall.  If we dont get a phone call today, then there's practically no way we can travel next week... and if we cant travel next week, then there is a slight chance, we may have to wait until October to travel.  There is a slight chance we could go the week after next week, but if we cant go then, then we probably wont be in China until at least the second week of October because of upcoming Chinese holidays

Yeah, over a month away.

Im pretty heartbroken over the whole thing, but I am holding on to hope with a deathgrip that we get that phone call today

but every hour that slips by loosens that grip a little more.

sigh.

Wednesday

You will notice that I dont post as often... mostly b/c we are on that last step of waiting for travel dates and its leaving me an emotional wreck lately, and I think its probably best to not post when Im like that.

I watched The Little Couple last night and it was a re-run of when they got Will from China... and it just made me bawl.  My heart is aching right now waiting for that phone call.  My daughter is out there, but she has no idea who I am.  I am so thankful that she is so loved and taken care of right now, but I would be lying if it said it didnt break my heart a little.

So we wait... and wait... and wait.... and each day that hole grows a little bit bigger... Im trying to hold it together, but each day leaves me a little bit more frazzled at the ends.