Friday

This week has definitely had its ups and downs....

The 12 week waiting mark came and went without so much of a peep.... and yesterday that hit me hard. 

I know I say it over and over, but its really all I have to go on.... when we first started this wait for LOA, our agency lady said the wait was 5-12 weeks... and I was really hoping for a miracle to get it at 7 weeks so we could travel in July... especially since everything had been sailing along so far.  As the 7 week mark went by, I told myself "any day now".... and "the closer we get to that 12 week mark, the less we have to wait"....

And here we are now... past the 12 week mark.

Im angry... and hurt... and upset.... and just plain out confused.   I dont understand why this is happening.

I understand that if youve never adopted, then this just sounds like whining.... but if you have adopted, then you know the true heartache this is causing.

It is what it is.

And I cant change it....

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Thankfully, Wednesday (the day before it all went downhill).... Wednesday was good.

The kids have been going to VBS at the local mega-church.... and Wednesday night was their night to show us what they have learned and such.

I love my kids.... but I will just admit outright that it took a lot of willpower to behave in church.... but I did alright and hey, we got a free dinner out of it, so yay... :)

But as we got back to the car, Gabe got distracted by the culvert at we were parked in front of.... its a nice, deep concrete culvert with a bridge you can walk over.... so I joined him on the bridge and looked over the edge into the 2" of water.... we saw tadpoles on one side and watched them for a minute, then I went to the other side and looked at the minnows darting around.... and then I saw it  - and gasped.... a snake - a baby.... no, wait a minute, thats not a snake.... it was a worm.... an earthworm.

And yall, this thing was HUGE.

Seriously, I just stared at it for probably a whole minute before I could actually get the words out to tell the rest of my family to come look at this miracle.

Yall, it was at least a foot long and thick as a finger.... no lie!

I watched it fascinated.... b/c yall, it was inching up the culvert under 2" of water.... I didnt know worms could do that?

As I watched it though, I started noticing something else... the minnows! - they were coming up and hitting it with their mouth and then dart off... and the poor worm would recoil at each one.

So I looked at Daniel and told him with a pitiful look on my face and told him that the minnows were trying to eat the huge worm.  I think he might have rolled his eyes.... especially since it was about 96 degrees outside and he had already started the car and was ready to go.

But yall, my heart bled for that huge worm taking small hits from those minnows... and I couldnt just leave it, could I?

So Gabe volunteered to go down and get it... so Daniel helped him down, and Gabe gently pulled up the worm out of the water, cupped him in his hands, and brought him up to the grass on the other side, and layed him gently down.... in a flash, the worm had already found the dirt and was getting while the getting was good.

And then we all drove home happy... :)

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Today is Friday.... so Im still having lingering sad spots where yesterday left off - knowing that we arent going to hear anything today or the weekend, and next week will be 13 weeks of waiting.... and that just breaks my heart open all over again.

but tonight, I have a wedding rehearsal to go to.... and then Gabe's last ball game with pizza and cupcakes afterward.... so its all about sucesses and starting something fresh and new.

I seem to be a ball of mixed feelings lately.... we could definitely use some prayers at our house... as the wait becomes longer, the tensions become higher, and well, being human, things to boil over... and even though we know the root cause (waiting, waiting, waiting), it still takes work to make everything run smoothly.

Here's crossing our fingers for next week.