Friday

Last Sunday night, Emma and I went out to dinner together - just the two of us... turns out Emma's love language is quality time and she really needed some with her mama... she chose Wendys so we headed over and split a chicken sandwich and fries.... when we got there, we were the only ones in there so we had the whole place to ourselves....

So we laughed and talked and I was reminded of how much of my heart belongs to that little girl... we held hands through most of dinner... after our sandwich and fries, we both admitted we were just a little hungry still...

So I offered to get us a small frosty to split... her eyes got wide and she asked "really?" b/c well, dessert is a bit of a luxury in our house of 6... so when I said, yes, she was utterly elated... she didnt even know that was part of the deal... so both of us felt pretty special

As we were having the preceding conversation about frostys... a pile of people came in, obviously church people as they came in bunches and were nicer dressed.... after they all got in line, I picked the back spot to order our frosty and I realized that I knew several of the people who were in front of me... and also sitting at some nearby tables.

And I saw their eyes slide over to me.... and they purposefully turned around...

And ignored me.

From then on, they purposefully looked every direction but mine... making sure I couldnt make eye contact.

It hurt... but I understood.

If you see me on weekdays, Im dressed pretty normal - usually jeans and a sweater or tshirt b/c I work in an office and have to look somewhat presentable... but on the weekends, I wear "my" clothes, the ones Im comfortable in - usually black with some skulls or spikes somewhere, and my knee high lace up biker boots... combined with my bright red "punk" hair which is usually pulled up in a way to make it more punk/goth/whatever you want to label it.... well, Im not exactly the southern baptist definition of "cute" or "presentable...

So I waited my turn and got our frosty and went and sat back down... right across from the brightest eyes and biggest smile... and well, I couldnt really be sad anymore...

And right in the middle of sharing our frosty, my daughter walked around the table, hugged me and said "thank you mom"

Forget sad... I have something amazing that those other "church people" (and yes, they were coming from church, and no, I cannot in good conscience call anyone "christian" anymore) missed out on.... you see, they missed out on the opportunity for me to introduce them to one of the most incredible people I know... I feel sad for them, and hope that one day, they will get a second chance...

But I aint sweating it.... because I dont mind keeping this little one to myself as long as I can... :)